


My lady, the fairest in this land, I might not be a prince, but my heart beats for you

by thewoundupbird



Series: maybe no one is a hero (but i still want you with me) [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, One Shot, introspective Laura focused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-26
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-11 07:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4426418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewoundupbird/pseuds/thewoundupbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura muses post break-up over Taylor Swift, Fibonacci spirals, and La Belle et la Bête</p>
            </blockquote>





	My lady, the fairest in this land, I might not be a prince, but my heart beats for you

Laura has always had a tenuous relationship with Taylor Swift. When she was younger she used to think that she was the most beautiful and wonderful singer of her generation. She even was able to convince her father to let her go to a concert as long as she wore the bullet proof vest and he was at her side at all times. But then she got to high school and it was like a light switch and Taylor Swift was immature and stupid. The only positive thing she could say about Taylor Swift was she was pretty. Laura didn’t figure out till later why her eyes would always drift up and down those long legs until-duh. But then when she went to college her love affair with Taylor Swift was rekindled and she was back to blasting 1989 and her favorite songs with reckless abandon.

So it made sense that when she was sitting on the chaise, knees pulled to her chest and her eyes on the door, that she stretched out of her tightly wound position and flip on some Taylor Swift. She quickly went through her iTunes library, making the best Taylor Swift break-up playlist of all time. It was so good that she almost contemplated trying to get the set selling on iTunes or something. She let acoustic guitar fill the room and she went back to the chaise, curling up on the worn leather with eyes still trained on the door.

 

 

**********

 

 

She woke up alone with the music off and a warm blanket around her shoulders. Laura tried not to think about who did it. Probably Perry. Most certainly not her.

 

**********

 

Laura remembered very little about her mother. No because she died tragically of cancer when Laura was very young or something. It’s because when Laura was ten one day Laura went to school with a warm hug and a kiss on the forehead and came back to her father sitting on the couch, a note crumpled in his hand and blood shot eyes. 

“Where’s mom?” she had asked. And when her father had raised his head and looked her in the eyes that had been her answer.

Laura went through the usual feelings you have when a parent leaves you. Resentment, sadness, insecurity. But when she got through that cycle she settled with suppression. One day when she was fourteen she looked for every picture of her and her mother in the house and tore every single one into tiny little pieces over a waste basket in the den. At first it had been very hard and her fingers had trembled but with every picture it had gotten easier. When she had finished she calmly walked out of the house, trash bin in hand, and dumped it into the bigger trash can for Wednesday morning pick-up. 

“Do you still love mom?”

“Even though she left, Laura, I still love her.”

“But how can you love someone who just left?”

 

 

**********

 

 

Laura had only seen Carmilla drunk once when they were roommates. Well as drunk as a vampire could be. She had been typing away at her computer when she heard an obnoxious thump at the door and the loud clanging of metal. With a sigh she rose from her seat, holding her sweater closer to her body as she peeked through the peep hole. All she saw was the top of Carmilla’s hair, flecks of snow gleaming in the dark curls. And then Carmilla lifted her head and sharp brown eyes seemed to bore into Laura’s. She was grateful that there was a door between them because otherwise that gaze could have burnt her. Trying to tamp down on her nerves Laura opened the door.

“Did you forget your keys again?” she asked as nonchalantly as she could, moving out of the way as Carmilla walked in. But instead of the usual cat-like amble she was swaying gracelessly. She roughly pulled off her clothes like a snake sloughing off its skin, stopping at her tight black jeans and her bra. With a stumbling twirl she fell onto her bed on her back with a soft thump. Laura swallowed at the rise and fall of Carmilla’s chest, the fragile etching of ribs showing through pale skin, and those eyes that burned.

“I am very drunk,” Carmilla said like she was discussing the weather.

“Oh.”

“Did you know that vampires could get drunk?”

Laura shook her head, sitting primly on the edge of her own bed, legs crossed. There was something feral about the smile she received as Carmilla turned her head.

“We can only get drunk on blood. Lots of it.”

Laura swallowed because the red on Carmilla’s lips looked a little bit more dangerous. This was the first time that she felt like Carmilla was actually capable of tearing out her throat without a second thought.

“Have you ever gotten drunk before, Laura?”

She blinked slowly at the usage of her name. She still had to get used to that. 

“Um, yeah. After the Winter formal my date swiped her father’s brandy from the liquor cabinet.”

Carmilla’s smile was slow like the way a cat pulls back its lips to show its teeth.

“Oh a dance? Did you dance the night away under the stars with the pretty girl you loved?”

Laura swallowed nervously. She hadn’t really talked about Francesca with anyone at college. It had been an amicable break-up. Laura wanted to stay in Austria and attend Silas University and Fran wanted to go to Cambridge. They still talked sometimes and shared the occasional Snapchat. 

“It was a good time, yes.” 

“Did you fuck her?” Carmilla asked, a wicked smile twisting her lips. And Laura finally saw how her lazy and sloppy roommate could be an evil vampire. This was not some obnoxious college student talking to her. This was a person who had lived for a very long time and had done many many things. 

“W-why is that any of your business?”

“At the first and last ball I attended, I kissed a girl, too. She was wrapped in satin and she tasted like the sweetest chocolate.” Carmilla practically purred as she ran her black finger nails through her dark hair. She was something from a fantasy, the way the light warmed her skin and highlighted the line of her jaw and the elegant slope of aristocratic nose.

“Did you love her?” Laura asked quietly, unable to tamp down on her curiosity.

The question made Carmilla still and suddenly dark eyes glared at her, jaw taut in thought.

“Love is a fibonacci spiral you know. For me anyway. You love someone and then she says she loves you too and then she dies. You think the pattern is about to change but then 24 numbers later it’s the same thing. It just repeats over and over and over until you wish you could die too.”

She said nothing as she saw tears well up in the other girl’s eyes. Laura just stood and wordlessly helped pull the boots off of Carmilla’s feet.

“It drives me crazy when you sleep with shoes on,” Laura muttered as way of explanation when she dropped the black shoes on the ground near the foot of Carmilla’s bed. She started to turn but a tight hand clasped her wrist. Blinking slowly she glanced over her shoulder and her heart started pounding because Carmilla looked absolutely wild. It made her think of that time Carmilla had leaned closer to her and bit her instead of kissing her senseless like Laura may or may not have wanted. There was a darkness in her eyes and Laura finally understood why humans were seduced by the dark things in the shadows.

And one moment Laura was standing, one hand clutching at the thick warmth of her jumper and the next she was on her back Carmilla looming over her. A very red tongue peeked out of a very red mouth and Carmilla’s brow furrowed in concentration. 

“What are you doing?” Laura asked, trying not to let the quiver in her voice be too obvious. 

Carmilla said nothing, just leaned forward and pressed her body against Laura’s. With one hand gripping the side of Laura’s face, Carmilla softly brushed her lips against the corner of her mouth. Someone let out a shuddery breath and she wasn’t sure if it was Carmilla or her.

“Why doesn’t the spiral ever stop, Laura?” Wet brown eyes looked at her and Laura felt like something was caught in her throat. She had never thought that a monster could ever look so sad. 

 

 

**********

 

 

Now Laura wants to stay here. It stopped here.

 

 

**********

 

“What do you like reading?” Laura paused at the question that was pressed into the crown of her head. Carmilla was still reading Camus and they just were not talking about the depressing air that hung between them.

“Besides the daily newspaper?” Laura teased with a grin, gripping Carmilla’s side playfully. Amused breath tickling her ear was her answer.

“I liked all of those series novels that you loathe.”

“Nothing else? Is that where you get all of your inspiration for all of your knight in shining armor fantasies?”

Laura bit her tongue and shifted closer, pressing herself into the crook of Carmilla’s neck. She smelled like smoke, leather and spice. Sometimes Laura felt a need to smell her, make sure that she was real and wouldn’t slip out of her hands like water.

“La Belle et la Bête,” she murmured after Carmilla had turned the page six times. She felt the muscles of Carmilla’s shoulders tense for a moment before relaxing.

“How fitting.”

Laura reached for Carmilla’s hand and played slowly with her fingers. 

“I liked how it showed if you believed in someone their best self could be brought out. That no one is truly a monster if you love them.” She was staring at Carmilla’s profile but the other girl wasn’t looking at her. Laura felt nervous at the silence. For a crazy moment she thought Carmilla was angry when she turned and looked at her. Her lips were pursed too tightly and her eyes weren’t dark enough to be lust.

Suddenly Laura felt her hand that had been playing with Carmilla’s fingers being lifted and pulled to Carmilla’s mouth. Gently Carmilla pressed a single fingertip against the sharpness of her fang. Laura tilted her head curiously, fascinated by the tooth. She was touching proof that her girlfriend was in fact that feral creature of the night that people had been writing scary stories about for centuries. Laura let out a shaky breath at the way Carmilla was watching her, like she was waiting for a reaction.

“I’ve never felt your fangs before.”

“I know.”

“Why did you want me to touch them?”

Carmilla was silent for a moment as she let Laura’s hand drop to her lap. 

“I thought you should see them. It’s proof of what I really am.”

“That doesn’t mean they’re the only thing that defines you.”

Carmilla gaze shifted to somewhere behind Laura, her jaw clenching. Finally she sighed and Laura was pulled firmly against her side.

“At least you didn’t run away when you saw them.”

“Of course not. There’s more to you than being a vampire, Carmilla.”

And the clock ticked and the only sound for awhile was their breaths mixed with the rustle of worn pages turning.

 

**********

 

But now when Laura looks over her shoulder from her new video angle and sees Carmilla languidly lounging on the chaise behind her, sunglasses low on her nose and blood smeared across her lips, she knows the truth. Even if the Beauty and the Beast ended on a happily ever after she knows how the story really ends. 

Beauty is still trapped in the castle and the Beast still angrily storms the halls.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really wanted to explore what's going in Laura's head especially after that break-up.


End file.
